He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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