So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were trust falling into bushes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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