She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
