So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
