can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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