there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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