doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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