is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
