I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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