There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
