I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
