WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
