It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
