Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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