im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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