THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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