New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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