I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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