If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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