Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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