how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
