so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
