Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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