my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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