nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize