Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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