He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
now i know why i became what i already was.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
