I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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