thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
