You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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