I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Vodka?
Forever.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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