How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
