You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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