can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
