How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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