didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
