can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
