Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
