The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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