im drinking this country out of the recession.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize