i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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