Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
