Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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