Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You left your phone here
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