Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
