Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
