Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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