THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
