I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
