Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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