chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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