Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
