I want to walk on stilts...naked
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
