Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
