so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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