it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
