Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
